Embedded Files
I come from the perspective that all behavior has meaning and that we can often tell a story to understand more about ourselves or someone else. I believe that those who come to counseling are committed to making changes and listening to these stories. I believe that those who meet me are ready to explore things deeper than they have before, speak the unspoken, and create new experiences.
The Meaning of Life
Have you ever wondered about the purpose for your life? Have you sometimes lacked passion in the work that you do or the relationships you have? This is so normal and these worries or fears are natural for us to have. Together we can explore the unique meaning for life that feels congruent for you. If the world has bogged you down, I want to remind you that you are a powerful being and get to make decisions to create your best life.
Generational Experiences
In my experiences I have come to understand that we do not exist alone or in a vacuum. We are connected to others through many ways. Sometimes, we may wonder why it feels like we are stuck in the same patterns. Or, we promised to never be like our parents and now find ourselves in similar relationships. There is some research that describes how our bodies and families have stored trauma from at least two generations before us—that even without directly experiencing traumatic events, we may feel the impact of that trauma and be subject to their effects. Additionally, some indigenous cultures have described generational impacts lasting up to seven generations! Together we can recreate a narrative of your family’s history and experiences, and reflect on the impacts they may have on your current relationships.
Trauma
Trauma can result from one traumatic experience or multiple traumatic experiences. Sometimes, the trauma is referred to as the current and future impact of the experience in addition to the past story. The impact can be overwhelming to the nervous system and affect the responses we have to life’s stressors. We may feel like we are in danger when really we are safe; or after a response we wonder why we reacted the way we did. With awareness and the right techniques, we may be able to soothe our nervous system’s responses. I offer EMDR (Eye-Movement Desensitization and Movement), an effective therapy that helps people heal from anxiety, relationship challenges, and traumatic experiences, including those tied to identity, rejection, or feeling unseen. Together, we’ll work to change the impact the past has on your present, so you can feel safer, more confident, and more at peace.
Attachment
An attachment style is the way in which we connect in relationships. Attachment styles are developed in early childhood beginning at birth and are stable throughout the lifespan. The way in which parent’s met their child’s needs often determined the trajectory of their attachment style and future relationship patterns. There are four types of attachment styles: secure, anxious-preoccupied, avoidant-dismissive, and disorganized. Together we will understand the styles you have and find ways to merge them into your relationship. We can also start the journey of changing our attachment styles and our responses in relationships. I have completed an externship in Emotionally-Focused Couple Therapy, an attachment-informed therapy.
Intersectionality
This term was originally coined by Kimberlé Crenshaw to describe the unique experiences of Black women in having two marginalized identities. Today, we continue to use this term to describe the unique experiences of the intersection of identities—race, ethnicity, gender identity, sexual identity, spirituality, class, ability, etc. It can be challenging when our own intersecting identities are difficult to explore in a predominately White, heteronormative, middle-class patriarchy. It can be even more challenging navigating our identities in a partnership with someone who has different intersecting identities. My hope is that we can continue to explore our identities, our needs, our activating points AND communicate them with our partner(s) and in our relationships.
Re-marriages & Blending
Are you trying to blend a step-family or have recently re-married? Did you expect it to be easy to “blend” your families but instead it feels much more challenging?
You may have experienced some of these thoughts:
We feel more disconnected since we tried to blend our families than before.
It seemed like we agreed on everything and had a good friendship, but now it seems like we can’t find any common ground.
Most of our conversations are about things that need to be done or get paid, it feels like our actual relationship has deteriorated and we’re just roommates.
One partner consistently feels left out, while the other partner feels like they can never make anyone happy—yet both partners feel unheard and unappreciated.
I have personal experience with blending families and can understand that it is not always a walk in the park. Together, we can discover the meaning under your family’s patterns, discuss stepfamily dynamics that affect relationships, and create opportunities for deeper connection.
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